Ever since that day, I started wearing makeup, for real. I was sixteen. A guy at school actually asked why I started doing that, all of a sudden and said that I should not do this, that I was not that kind of girl (I was also the type of girl he would never date and would abusively touch in school corridors by the way). I was always fond about him in an in sane way but I couldn’t care less about his opinion in that moment.
He was not the only one who tried to stop me from making up. Pretty much everyone did. My uncle, who’s very into everything natural and yet is a geek, told me that I did not need foundation when he first saw me with it. And he kept making remarks every time I saw him for a few months on, always saying things such as “you’re really not going to stop, right ?” I get the good intention, he was probably worried that I was insecure, he was trying to tell me how beautiful I am without it. Friends told me the same things. Friends told me that I really didn’t need all of this to be pretty (until they eventually asked if I was sick or something when I went makeupless).
What they didn’t get was that, I did not feel like I needed this to be pretty. I thought I was pretty even when I was all teenage oily skin and unwashed hair. I did this because I loved it, because making up made me happy, it brought me joy, it was a way to express myself and to try and show who I was, who I wanted to be. I guess I was very clumsy and my makeup was probably not always perfect at that time, but still. It has been a journey for me throughout those three years. It has been a joy to experiment, to discover new products that would suit me better, that would look more natural, products that would fit my style. It has been a journey to learn all those skills that I have now and it will be a journey to learn all those skills that I do not have yet.
Makeup is not always excessive though. I tend to go for nude, rosy, simple and classy looks. Because it is who I am and you probably guessed it from reading my blog and even from my blog name. But I do not condemn people who are excessive through makeup. People have the right to do whatever they want with their face. And they probably know that you find their contoured lipstick too much or their eyebrows too sharp. But they do not do that to please you, they do that for themselves, mostly. My mom has often told me that I looked like a paint pot, even when I didn’t that much. She criticized me when I started touching up my eyebrows and they were always a bit too dark and too obviously drawned (even though she was always the one to tell me to never try and minimize them because they made me beautiful and that’s why I felt they were important). It’s kind of hurtful to get those remarks sometimes. She still asks me sometimes if I really needed to put so much foundation on my face when really I’m trying to go light. I just answer “yes” because I do not want to explain to her.
I do not want to explain to her that NO I do not NEED to put foundation on my face, but I do because I love it. Sometimes, I decide to wear less makeup when I go to the grocery store. Sometimes, I decide not to wear makeup at all to go and buy jam on a Sunday morning. I love days when I stay at home and I don’t have to makeup. And I find myself beautiful on those days. Natural, myself. But I love those days as much as the days when I do have somewhere to go and I get to makeup which is such a joy to me. On those days, I find myself beautiful too and, most importantly, I feel as much myself as the days where I don’t makeup.
This is why, today, I chose to take part in the #powerofmakeup hashtag, because its object is something that has been on my heart for years. Today, I chose to share with you a picture of myself with a side of my face made up, and the other side makeupless. This picture shows you my two faces. Both are my TRUE face. Both are me. I want people to understand that. Makeup is for me a way of expression and a way to feel happy, just by doing it. Also, my love for makeup has been one of the factors that decided me to start this blog and communicate this energy and mean of expression in my own way. This project has since then made me even happier and made it all feel even more relevant. It may sound silly to some, but it has given me a purpose at some point. All of this, this is what the power of makeup is to me.